For yours I truly wish to be
by Mingulay
Summary: Cassandra, the lone wanderer. Fawkes, the mutated beast. An unlikely pairing, and yet... But fate is a cheat.   Rated M to be on the safe side. Title is a line from the Nightwish song Ever Dream
1. Chapter 1

**I have another go. I tend to have strange ides, and they won't let me rest. So I had to write it, and having written it, I might as well share it. Someone out there might actually like it. You never know.**  
><strong>The Lyrics are "Two for Tragedy" by Nightwish<strong>

**_Cassandra, the Lone wanderer. Utterly alone, close to dying, and lost in painful memories. To follow him into death would have been easier, and yet she chose to live._  
><strong>

* * *

><p><em>Sleep Eden sleep<em>

_My fallen son_

_Slumber in peace_

_Cease the pain_

_Life`s just in vain_

_For us to gain_

_Nothing but all the same_

_No healing hand_

_For your disease_

_Drinking scorn like water_

_Cascading with my tears_

_Beneath the candle bed_

_Two saddened angels - in heaven, in death_

* * *

><p>Cassandra didn't know if finding her way to Agatha's shack had been a blessing or a curse. Of course, the old woman had saved her live as she had come crawling towards her door, but being alive meant to remember. And Remember was the one thing she didn't want to do right now. Never more, in fact. But she had had the choice to live or die, and she had chosen. Had chosen life over death, and now would have to live with her decision.<p>

If only she could stop remembering. But the memories were there, right under the surface of her consciousness, and she only had to close her eyes to relive them in painful clarity.

_It was a cold night out in the wastes. Cassandra was freezing, huddled in her blanket and still dripping wet. Had ever she cared to count, she could have known that it had been the seventeenth time that Fawkes had saved her life, this time by pulling her out of the river she had fallen into after a slip on the bridge. She had lost consciousness for a second upon hitting the water surface, and her power armor had dragged her down into the murky depths as if she had been a sack of stones. And even as she realized that now, she was going to die, a large hand had grabbed hers and pulled her up, into the air and sunlight again. He had dragged her ashore, helped her out of the dripping armor, and now she was sitting shivering beside the little fire he had built.  
>Staring across the flames, she watched him settle down opposite her, pulling up his knees a little and resting his elbows on them. He didn't look at her, but into the fire, and she watched the play of light and shadow on his face as ever-changing as his actual expression was still.<em>

"_Fawkes", she whispered.  
>He looked up at her, eyes half closed.<em>  
>"<em>How many times more are you going to save my life?"<br>A small smile tugged up the left corner of his mouth. "As often as you need it, friend."_  
>"<em>Without ever asking for a reward?" She tilted her head.<br>Fawkes snorted. "I told you often enough that I probably can never repay you for freeing me out of my eternal prison, Cassandra."_  
>"<em>Never?"<br>The big mutant shifted his position and leaned forward a little. "What is it you are getting at, Cassandra?"_  
>"<em>I only…" She felt a little at a loss for words, but had the feeling she had to offer. "I mean, I would consider your debt more than paid. You are free to go, Fawkes. I really mean it." Then she swallowed, because although she meant it, she did not relish the thought of being without his company again.<em>  
>"<em>Like that, is it?" Fawkes slowly got up. "If you do not want me to follow you any more, you could just have said so." Then he turned and vanished into the shadows before Cassandra even could get up.<em>  
>"<em>Fawkes…" Her legs were still a little shaky as she stumbled after him in the dark, cursing herself inwardly for a fool and worse. "Fawkes, please, that's not what I meant!" The night was pitch black around her, and she hit a rock with her bare foot. Hissing with pain, she limped onward. "Fawkes?"<em>

"_Careful!"  
>His big hand grabbed her arm and only then did she realize she had been heading straight for another big rock and would have run heads on into it had he not stopped her.<br>Shivering with cold as much as mild shock, she turned to face him. In the darkness, she could only make out the outline of his bulk as a shadow somewhat darker than the darkness around him._  
>"<em>Please, Fawkes, I'm sorry. I…" she cleared her throat. "What I meant was…"<em>  
>"<em>I understood what you meant", he gave back. "You wish me to go."<br>"NO!" Cass stomped her foot, which hurt, as she was barefoot. "No, I am just a stupid idiot unable to form her thoughts into proper words! No, Fawkes. I wanted you to go… if you wanted to."_

_A long silence followed her words. _

"_Ah", he finally said. "And if I choose not to want to leave you like that?"_  
>"<em>Then I'd…" She took a deep breath. "Then I'd be more than glad."<em>

_Another long silence._

_"Let's get back to the fire then", he said, and she followed him, or tried to, at least. She kept bumping into rocks, and then suddenly bumped into him, as she had not seen him stop._  
><em>"Sorry."<br>He turned around. "It seems I have a better night vision than you do." His voice could have held the trace of a smile.  
>"So it seems", she gave back. By now she was freezing so much, without a fire or blanket and her underwear still moist, that her teeth were clattering as she stumbled around in the darkness.<em>  
>"<em>No sense in you breaking an ankle", she heard his voice, and suddenly felt herself being swept off her feet. "Holy god, you are cold as ice!"<em>  
>"<em>I know", she whispered as she let her head fall against his shoulder. <em>

_He carried her back to the little campsite and sat down as close to the fire as possible, but seemed reluctant to set her down. Which was fine with her, as she felt reluctant to leave the warmth of his embrace. So they sat awhile, until Cassandra became aware of the fact that she was sitting on his lap wearing nothing more than wet underwear. And, there was no denying it, so was he._

"_I don't want you to ever leave me", she whispered then, but all he replied was a low rumbling sound.  
>Smiling at her own recklessness, she lifted a hand and ran a cautious finger down his chest and up again.<br>"Stop that", he said in a very low voice, his eyes firmly closed._  
>"<em>Why?" She stopped, but left her hand where it was, the index finger resting in the grove at the base of his throat. She could feel him swallow.<em>  
>"<em>Because it could lead to things I will regret", he gave back. "We both will regret."<em>  
>"<em>Why?" Cass asked again.<em>  
>"<em>Why?" He finally opened his eyes. "Because I am a mutant, and you a human woman. Because there are some things that are best left undone. Because I do not want to cause you any pain."<em>  
>"<em>But why might you cause me pain?"<em>  
>"<em>Can you really be that naïve?" His voice was almost a growl. "I am almost twice your size, Cassandra, and a mutant. And I…" he swallowed. "I fear the part of me that… I fear that the primal part… will pull me away for good, if I let go."<em>

_Cassandra could understand that fear, but she also knew that she wanted this, more than she had wanted anything in her life so far. That moment, when he tried to refuse her to keep her safe, she realized that what she wanted was him, all of him. All of the little, tiny feelings, rising and vanishing again under the surface of her consciousness, all of the tugs and pushes in her belly as she had looked at him in the past months, suddenly came to a culmination in this realization. _

"_Fawkes." She shifted so she could look into his face. "I know I am a clumsy lout you constantly have to keep rescuing. As was proven today."  
>A tiny, lopsided smile appeared on his face for a second.<br>"But listen", she went on. "I just realized something. And that is that I want you. All of you. And I may be clumsy at times, but I know I am strong. In more than one way." Then she laid her hands on his cheeks, to force him to continue looking at her. "I am strong. I know it. I want you, and believe me, I fear that primal part of you, too. But I want you, and if that part of you is part of the bargain, then so be it. I am strong, and I know I can contain the beast."_  
>"<em>You do not know what you are asking for." His voice was as dark as the night around them.<em>  
>"<em>I do." She leaned closer. "I see it in your eyes."<br>He didn't reply at once, just looked at her, and then shook his head. "I shall cause you pain, there is no way I would not. No Cass, I do not want to do this."  
>They stared at each other for a long time, and finally, Cassandra let her head drop onto his shoulder.<em>  
>"<em>Fawkes", she whispered. "Why do you not trust me?"<em>  
>"<em>Trust you?"<br>She looked up and found him stare down at her, his eyes wide._  
>"<em>What makes you say that?"<em>  
>"<em>But you don't! You don't trust me to be strong enough for you!"<em>  
>"<em>Trust has nothing to do with it. At least not trust in you. It is trust in me that I lack."<em>  
>"<em>Yeah, the beast and everything." She gritted her teeth. "And you don't trust me to handle it."<br>He leaned closer. "I am minded to let you try, just this once, so you would know what you are talking about, girl."_

_Cass just smiled.  
>He didn't move.<em>

"_Fawkes", she whispered again.  
>But he just stared at her. She could see the pulse in his jugular vein, throbbing fast and hard, and she heard his breath, coming hard and fast, as well.<em>  
>"<em>Can you fall in love with a monster?" Cassandra asked.<br>He chuckled tonelessly. "I would not know, being the monster myself."_  
>"<em>I think you can", she whispered, then leaned closer until her lips brushed his earlobe, which made him shudder. "I want you", she whispered. "Monster."<br>He growled softly, and shook his head. "What if I hurt you?"_  
>"<em>Then it is my fault alone", she gave back, and slowly moved her face back, her cheek brushing his, until she met his lips with hers. <em>

_As she was only wearing underwear and he hardly more than rags, it took them only moments to undress._

_And yes, he did hurt her. He filled her with a mixture of pain and pleasure so intense she found it hard to handle. But it was what she had asked for, it was what she had wanted. Him, in his whole being. Yet when she opened his eyes, she saw something that scared her more than a little. He was gritting his teeth, had stopped moving, and a low, heavy groan escaped him, so flat as if he was trying to swallow it instead. And Cassandra realized that this was the moment he had been dreading. That this was his primal part trying to take control of him. But had she not said, and firmly believed in, that she could handle the beast?_

_Could she really? The look in his eyes told her that he did not want to go on, but she knew he had to, or he would lose himself completely. And she swore to herself that if he could no longer contain the beast, then she would. And realizing this, she felt herself relax, her fears dwindle, and she opened her soul to that part of him instead of fearing it and trying to chase it away. And as their eyes met, she welcomed the beast, and in doing so, she could contain it even as it took control of him. Something inside her gave, not painful, not pleasant, but something told her this moment that no other man would ever be able to possess her, make love to her, none other than him. _

_He collapsed on top of her, growling and gasping for air, but all she could do was smile and run a hand over his head, down his neck and rest on his back. _

"_I am sorry", he finally murmured into her shoulder._  
>"<em>Don't be", she replied. "You didn't hurt me that much at all."<em>  
>"<em>That was not what I meant." He lifted his head to look at her. "We both knew about the pain. I am sorry for believing you not strong enough."<br>Cassandra chuckled and then sighed. "Get off me for a second, will you?", she said then with a smile. "You're awfully heavy."  
>He rolled off her and cradled her into his arms, burying his face in her hair. So they fell asleep, and the sun that had said good night to them as friends now greeted them as lovers.<em>

With a heavy sigh Cassandra let her head fall back onto the pillow and stared at the ceiling. That was where it all had started, and had led to her lying here in Agatha's old, ramshackle hut, occupying her bed, too weak to move. Why had she chosen life? Why?  
>But she knew perfectly well why. The reason why she had chosen life over death, a life without him, was lying at her side.<p>

* * *

><p><em>Now let us lie<em>

_Sad we lived sad we die_

_Even in your pride_

_I never blamed you_

_A mother`s love_

_Is a sacrifice_

_Together sleeping_

_Keeping it all_

_No sympathy_

_No eternity_

_One light for each undeserved tear_

_Beneath the candle bed_

_Two souls with everything yet to be said_


	2. Chapter 2

**I hope I didn't get carried away here. Not too far, at least. I am not too sure about this one, and not too satisfied with how this is coming along. Feedback, anyone?**

**_Make your choices, bear your burdens. Only time will tell if you were right or wrong._  
><strong>

* * *

><p>She had wanted to leave all that behind. All those memories, with all the sorrows they brought. But in the end, she had chosen not to. To hold on to the memories, and accept the sorrows as the burdens life had loaded upon her without asking her was she strong enough to bear them.<p>

_Cassandra had switched the Radio on her Pip boy to Agatha's frequency and they had made camp listening to soft violin music. Feeling in the right mood tonight, she had undone her armor for the night, and as she emerged from behind the rock, she saw Fawkes look up and smile at her as he got up to meet her. They had not been together that much; their mating was a wild and sensuous, but painful experience for both of them. But they had kissed and… there were other means. Cassandra smiled at the memory of some of them, but tonight she wanted more. _

_He saw it in her eyes as he took her in his arms, and their lips met in a fierce mélange of denied passion, fear and hunger. True, the beast did not come every time, not after the first three times they had made love, if you could call it that. Sometimes, it would remain hidden, leaving them to enjoy each other in a gentler, more tender way. They never knew, but she welcomed it every time, enabling him to be, for a little while, free of his haunt, and for this, he loved her all the more when the beast did not come.  
>Tonight? She smiled at him as their lips parted. Would it come? Sometimes, she wished she could not only hold, but enjoy the beast as she did enjoy the man, but her physiology simply didn't allow it. It was the price she paid for loving this particular, extraordinary man. <em>

_Yet as they kissed again, the music suddenly was overlaid by a scratching, hissing sound, and they parted, looking at the Pip boy in annoyance. Just as Cassandra was about to switch it off, however, they heard the voice of Elder Lyons. _

"_Mayday. This is a priority one distress call on all frequencies. This is Elder Lyons from the Brotherhood of Steel. All members of the brotherhood and all friendly allies, we need immediate help at the Citadel. We are being attacked by an army of super mutants and are trapped in what we only can call a siege. I repeat: The Brotherhood of Steel requests help from anyone hearing this message. The Citadel is under attack. Mayday! This is an automated transmission and will repeat itself."  
>All feelings of lovemaking forgotten, the two stared at each other and with a curse, Cassandra ran to retrieve her armor.<br>"Can we be there in time?", she asked as she donned her armor and stooped to pick up her helmet._  
>"<em>Maybe. No single squad of Brotherhood soldiers will be able to break the siege", Fawkes replied as he kicked out the fire. "They have to wait until a large force is gathered to be able to do anything but die honorably."<br>She nodded and, shouldering their weapons, they set off as fast as they could towards the Citadel._

Cassandra grimaced in pain and, not for the first time, wished that she had died in the fight. But then, again and again, she was reminded of the reason for her decision to live, regret it now as she might, there was no way back. The pain in her body had begun to subside. The pain in her mind would not. She had a festering wound in her soul and knew that one day it would claim her.  
>Agatha cautiously opened the door. "How are you doing, dear?"<br>"Not too bad, I guess", she replied. "Not too good, either. But the bleeding seems to have stopped."  
>"Well, we shall see it as a good sign it didn't get worse, shall we?", the old lady replied and sat down at the side of her bed. "I brought you something to eat."<br>"Thanks." She was ravenous, as she had been constantly these last few weeks. Constantly hungry, and constantly thirsty.

Agatha watched as she gorged herself and carried the dish away again when Cassandra fell back into the pillows.  
>How long could they go on like that? She was eating the old woman poor and poorer, she knew that much, but Agatha would hear nothing of her eating less to spare their provisions.<br>"The next caravan comes", she would say, and would not talk about it anymore.  
>But they were, in fact, waiting more desperately for the next caravan than they would admit to each other. Being faced with her weakness and illness, Cassandra had finally given in to Agatha's pleading and allowed her to send a message to the Citadel along with the last caravan, to ask for help from the Brotherhood for a lost Knight of their ranks.<br>Cassandra was sure they would come. But would they come in time?

_It had taken them a couple of days to reach the Citadel, in the end they came almost immediately before the relieving attack was about to begin. It was led by Star Paladin Cross, and she hastily amended orders, rearranged the lines and brought them, because of Fawkes' awe-inspiring ability with his Gatling, into the first ranks. They advanced from two sides, to catch the mutants between the claws of their flanks, and Cassandra and Fawkes found themselves at the outer end of the right one, closest to the gate of the Citadel, where the fighting doubtlessly would be thickest.  
>Moving forward in a crouch, to keep hidden as long as possible, to get as close as they could and attack with the momentum of surprise, they crept forward, and when they stopped, waiting for the command to attack, Cassandra glanced sideways at Fawkes who was staring at nothing, holding his weapon at the ready.<em>

_She looked at him, suddenly hungry for him, for his touch, and realized that the last time she had touched him was the broken kiss back there in the wastelands, when the distress call had interrupted every thought of romance. The sudden thought that this might have been the last time she had touched him was unbearable to her, and she cautiously moved a little closer. He turned his head and looked at her, holding out his hand, and she reached out and took it. He squeezed her hand fiercely for a second before letting go again, as if he had been thinking along the same lines as her. They exchanged a long glance that spoke of a promise. If there would be an afterwards.  
>Cassandra checked her weapon again, there was nothing more to do than wait. But they didn't have to wait for long, for the call came only moments later. <em>

_As they attacked, Cassandra followed Fawkes' bloodcurdling battle screams as she jumped across the piles of rubble that had served them as covers, and charged into the mutant army. She soon knew nothing more than aiming, shooting, reloading and looking for the next opponent. But as they advanced, they passed the first bodies of mutants, and, even from the corners of her eyes, something struck her as very odd. She took the time to go down onto her knee beside one of the bodies and take a closer look._  
>"<em>Fawkes?"<br>He turned to look at her._  
>"<em>See that?" And she held up the device that had puzzled her, a small metal frame that had been sitting around the mutants head. It resembled all too much the frames that the Enclave used to control their Deathclaws with. Fawkes saw it too, he came closer and knelt down beside her.<em>  
>"<em>What is the meaning of this?"<em>  
>"<em>That, firstly, this is the Enclave's doing", Cassandra replied. "Which is a pretty good explanation as to why the mutants are suddenly able to form an army and launch a coherent attack like that. And that, secondly, if only I had more time and resources, my control scrambler would come very much in handy today."<em>  
>"<em>We have neither", he replied. "There is nothing else but fight."<br>She nodded. "Right." And reloading her weapon, she got up again. "Let's go."_

Would that she could fall asleep. Cassandra stared at the ceiling again and tried to ban the memories that haunted her, with no success. How many times more would she have to relive these moments of hell?  
>Why had she not died as well?<br>She could still feel the ground shake under her, as she had felt it back then.

_They exchanged a horrified glance.  
>"What is that?"<br>Fawkes shook his head. "I have no idea."  
>The ground was shaking in a rhythmic pattern, the tremor increasing with every jolt. As if something very, very big was on the move on heavy feet, and coming closer. Even the mutant army fell silent, and in that eerie stillness the booming footsteps, for it could be nothing else, seemed like thunder strokes in an empty cathedral. And then they could see it rounding a corner: Attended by a handful of Enclave soldiers was the biggest behemoth Cassandra had ever seen. Two had she met so far, the one on the GNR Plaza and one in the Capitol, but this one was larger by far. It was a monster so huge it could have stepped across the Hudson in two or three strides.<em>

"_We're all dead", a soldier beside her said. "We're dead men walking."_

_From the corner of her eye, Cassandra saw Fawkes reload his weapon. She did the same with hers, and went into a crouch to have a more steady aim. At that same moment the Enclave soldiers released the monster and it charged into the relieving army, crushing everything that didn't clear its path fast enough, soldier and mutant alike, under its feet. _

_Cassandra aimed for the monster's head, trying to hit the eyes to incapacitate it, but if it was due to nervousness or bad luck, her aim wasn't true enough, and all she did was to enrage the beast even more as it came charging towards their position. _

_They took it under massive fire. All forces concentrated their fire on the beast, and it was already bleeding heavily, slowing down, but still carried forward by its hunger for blood, or maybe only by the mind control device meddling with his will it charged onward. Moving aside, dodging and running, and firing again, the Brotherhood tried to encircle the monster without getting crushed, and the frenzied beast screamed and roared as it picked up the body of a dead knight and used it as a club to slay four more of their ranks. Sweating and reloading furiously while taking cover behind the remnant of a broken wall, Cassandra suddenly realized that she had lost sight of Fawkes in the commotion. She got up, rifle in aiming position, and saw him, standing in the beast's path, roaring like a fiend from hell as he fired relentlessly at the beast's head._

"_Get away Fawkes!", she screamed, but he was too far away to hear her, and too far away that she could have reached him in time. But even if she had, what could she have done? Frozen to the ground she watched as the behemoth stumbled, still being hit hard by the multiple lasers coming from Fawkes' weapon as the mutant slowly took a few step back. It slowed, stumbled again and slowly, toppled to its knees and over, falling straight forward onto his face. The ground shook, the air rang with the monster's death scream, and as the dust clouds settled, the soldiers of the Brotherhood screamed in victory and the mutants in fury._

_But Cassandra just stood there, staring and searching as she slowly sank down onto her knees, until at least, she had to get to grips with the fact the Fawkes was nowhere to be seen. And that this meant the he had not gotten away in time._

_He had killed the beast, but it had taken him in return._

_The loss of their greatest ally sowed a momentary confusion among the mutants and the few Enclave soldiers accompanying them, and the Brotherhood, revived by this victory, took their chance and attacked. At this moment the forces in the Citadel risked a sally, and caught between two advancing forces, the army was crushed and annihilated within half an hour, even though the Brotherhood suffered heavy losses as well.  
>And still Cassandra was kneeling there, staring empty-eyed at the behemoth that had taken Fawkes with him to hell, and wondered why she was so cold and could not shed a single tear.<em>

"_Cassandra!"  
>She didn't look up.<em>  
>"<em>Cassandra! Is that you?" Sarah Lyons reached her side and knelt down beside her. "Are you wounded?"<br>She mutely shook her head.  
>"Cass. Have you never seen such a beast?" There was genuine worry in Sarah's voice.<em>  
>"<em>I have." Was that her voice? She could hardly recognize it. "Two times."<em>  
>"<em>But what…"<em>  
>"<em>He's gone."<br>Sarah leaned closer. "Lost someone?" Her voice was almost gentle now.  
>Cassandra could only nod.<br>Sarah was silent for a while. "Are you sure? Maybe we can find him again…"  
>She shook her head again. "He was buried."<em>  
>"<em>Cass?"<br>But she only extended her hand to point at the behemoth.  
>Sarah followed her pointing finger and took a deep breath. "I see. Was it… was it your mutant friend?"<em>  
>"<em>Yes." She could only whisper. Why could she only whisper?<em>  
>"<em>Cass, I'm sorry. I really am." Sarah put a hand on her shoulder. "I know that it is no comfort to you right now, but he has died honorably, and for the Brotherhood. He will be remembered by us, for all times to come, and have a place in our annals. He shall not be forgotten."<em>

_Cassandra nodded helplessly, and Sarah left her alone to her grief. As an experienced soldier she knew that there was little anyone could do at this point, but she made a mental note to send a medic over here as soon as she had one to spare, to treat her shock, maybe sedate her a little, bring her back into the Citadel, and take her to a bed where she could rest, have a cry, and come to terms with her loss._

The medic had never found her, nor had anyone else. Cassandra had simply left the battlefield, leaving her weapon and her helmet lying in the dust where she had knelt and watched him die, and with heavy limbs and an even more heavy heart, had just trotted off, neither knowing nor caring where she was going.

Strangely enough, no mutant and no raider, no Rad scorpion nor any other creature had harassed her on her pilgrimage into loneliness. She had dragged herself through the wastes for weeks, until the pain in her body had become unbearable. She didn't know where her armor was, nor would she ever be likely to find it out, as she just had undone it and dropped it, leaving it behind as she had walked onward, diagnosing herself as she did so. Even in her state of mind, her medical training had not been resting, and despite the numbness and emptiness she felt, it had been so deeply rooted inside her that she could not deny, not ignore, what had been happening to her: She was pregnant.

She was pregnant by a dead man.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thanks for the feedback so far. Please, let me explain myself. I had this idea, even though it seemed strange, and I know Mutants are supposed to be sterile, but then I remembered where I had that idea from:**  
><strong> I played Fallout 2 (quite a while ago, but still), where you had a Super Mutant called Marcus as a party member. Likewise, in that game you had the opportunity to stand your party a round in a brothel in a city called New Reno. When afterwards the player opened the dialogue option with Marcus, the mutant expresses his hopes of not having gotten the girl pregnant. When questioned about the fact that mutants are supposed to be sterile, he answers along the lines of initially yes, but that it would "take a few years after being dipped to get the juices flowing again". So forgive me for not going into detailed research in Fallout Wikis or the like before writing my story. I did not see there would be a major problem in that department. And believe me, I am going to wrap all things up nice and clean. At least I try very much to do so. Maybe the story still is not more than random crap, if you think so, let me know, and I just delete it and we forget all about it. I meant no offence to anyone, anything or anywhatsoever. <strong>

* * *

><p>It had been sheer chance that had brought her, bloated, swollen and bleeding, to Agatha's door. The old lady had taken her in without hesitation, but had it not been for another sheer chance, i.e. the fact that this very night the trader caravan led by Doc Hoff was camped at Agatha's to travel onward the next morning, she would have died anyway.<br>As it was, the Doc didn't have his name for nothing, whatever else he was now, he did have medical training. Without him, she would have bled to death.  
>And between the two of them, Agatha, who had born five children herself, and the Doc, she managed to survive a second hell of blood and pain.<br>But Cassandra knew that it had been neither his nor Agatha's skills that really had made the real difference, the difference between life and death for her. It had been her decision that she was doing this for him. He was dead, and all she could do now for him was to take care of the last thing that remained of him here on earth.

And yet, when she had looked at her son's face for the first time, she realized that she was not only doing it for his father's sake, but also for his own. He had not asked to be born. He had not chosen to be sired and conceived of a love so unconventional. The Doc told her not to attach herself too strongly to him, as he didn't have a high chance of survival. By rights, Doc Hoff had said, he shouldn't be here at all. Mutants were supposed to be sterile, and even hadn't they been, it was thought impossible that they were genetically compatible with humans any longer. Which meant any offspring of a mutant and a human would be unviable.

Cassandra looked at the sleeping face of her son and blinked her tears away. There he was, almost three months old now, and still alive. True, he had almost killed her, being born. But it had not been his choice. It had not been his fault. But what would become of him now? She had promised him, the day he was born, that she would take care of him, protect him as his father had protected her. But that didn't seem very likely now, as she never had made it out of bed after his birth. It was the loss of blood first that had weakened her, and even after these three months she still had no strength back. He was draining her bloodless, and still, he was never able to eat his fill. That was why she was constantly hungry and thirsty, but without any more medical help, she knew, she would perish. Her body, drained by the pregnancy in grief and malnutrition, what with her aimlessly wandering through the wastes, and the enormous loss of blood in giving birth, had used up all its resources.

Therefore had she finally given in and allowed Agatha to send for help via a caravan. The old lady could not support the boy, without her, his mother, he would die as well. And she had promised him to take care of him, as she had silently promised his dead father the same.

She would have preferred never to see anyone of the Brotherhood of Steel again. Never to see the Citadel again, where his grave would be. But to fulfill the promise to her son, she needed the help she could only get there. Only the medicinal facilities of the Citadel had the means to save her, that much she knew. If they could help her son to survive, a being of mismatched genetics that had no biological right to exist, was another matter entirely. Only time could tell that.  
>But he looked healthy enough, she always thought. He had two legs, two arms, ten fingers and ten toes, two eyes, a nose and a silky shock of black hair.<p>

It was only this moment, as she toyed with his forelock, that she realized the implication if his hair. She herself was red-haired, as her mother had been. So this color of hair must have come from his father, something that had survived the mutation somewhere in the genetic code, even though Fawkes himself had been completely hairless. And at that moment she realized that her son was not only her promise to a future, but also a link to a long bygone past. Most likely, he would resemble his father, his father as his looks had been original genetically coded. In twenty or twenty-five years or so she would look at him and, to an extent, look back across the years into the face of the man she had loved; his face as it had been before the mutation had so irrevocably changed him.

This realization made her shudder, and at the same time brought new tears to her eyes. The pain would simply never end. Not before she had taken her last breath.

But at that moment the door opened and Agatha poked her head in, tearing her out of her painful musings. "Cassandra? Dear? I see a caravan coming."  
>She felt relief and dread simultaneously. If only she could forget about the past… but the sleeping form of her son beside her reminded her of the fact that she could never forget, not as long as he lived, and most likely not after, either. So she might as well try and pull herself together to make the best of her life, for his sake. And if that meant getting back in touch with people from that past, along with all the painful memories it would bring, then so be it.<p>

It was not long after Agatha had announced the caravan that Cassandra was awoken from a nap she had dozed off into by a knock on the door. Sleepily she lifted her head as the door opened, and despite herself, she had to smile as she saw the familiar face.  
>"Hello Sarah."<br>"Cassandra." Sarah Lyons shook her head and swallowed. "Good god, girl, what possessed you to wander off like that, letting everyone believe you're dead?" She swept her eyes over Cassandra's haggard form. "Not that you don't look more than half dead already…"  
>Cass looked down again and avoided her eyes. "I couldn't stand it."<br>"What? Being cared for? Having friends?"  
>"No." She swallowed her tears and managed to look into her old friend's face again. "I couldn't bear to look at his body. I just couldn't. I couldn't bear to be near his grave. I'm sorry, Sarah, I just couldn't do it."<br>Slowly, Sarah walked up to her bed and sat down beside her. "His body. His grave."  
>Cassandra avoided her eyes.<p>

"Cass…" With a deep sigh, Sarah ran her hands across her face. "Cass… there is no grave."  
>Feeling cold, Cassandra suppressed a shudder. "So? Yes, I already supposed you had to burn the behemoth to avoid it poisoning the whole area for months to come with rot gas. It makes no difference to me."<br>"It should." Sarah dropped her hands and stared at the ceiling for a second before moving her gaze back to Cass. "Yes, we burned the body of the behemoth. But we had to cut it into pieces and move it away from the Citadel; to be sure the fire wouldn't spread to our compounds."  
>The silence that followed made goose bumps spread on Cassandra's whole body. She found it very hard to look at Sarah Lyons again.<br>Her friend returned the look with a face carved in hard lines of sorrow. "Cass…" Then she took a deep breath. "He wasn't killed that day."  
>The world spun, and Cass found herself suddenly steadied by Sarah's arms. "Cass? By god, you're weaker than I thought. We need to get you back home, and fast."<br>"Home…" but her vision was wavering, and the world was still swaying. "But…"  
>"It is as I said, Cass. I don't know how many guardian angels he had or if he had nine lives like a cat. If so he used at least six or seven up that day in a go. He was severely injured, and by the time we found him his wounds had gone septic, but for some reason, he survived. He is a strong man, Fawkes."<p>

Cass was slowly coming to her senses again, so she didn't fail to notice the strange tone Sarah had used in her last sentence. She tilted her head, wondering if she had been mistaken. Was it displeasure, or had she imagined it?  
>Sarah took another breath. "He… told us… about you. What had been between you and him. It was… a bit hard to swallow at first, but we knew him, and after all, it had been him saving us all in killing that behemoth and almost sacrificing himself with it. It was… very hard for him when you had vanished. I think it was only the thought of you that made him hang on and survive. When he finally came round, and realized you were gone…" She broke off and looked away.<br>Through the shock, Cassandra felt hot tears burn in her throat. "I've abandoned him…", she croaked, hoarse with tears. "God, I've abandoned him. But honestly, Sarah, I thought he was dead! Please! Had I only thought there was the slightest chance of him being able to survive this, don't you think I'd have stayed?"  
>"You probably would", her friend gave back, placing a hand on her trembling shoulder. "I know you would. But this… it was… when the caravan brought the news about you, and what happened to you…" She looked away again. "He went into his cell and smashed all the furniture into shards. Then he was gone for a few days, and I have no idea what he did, nor where he was. He came back just as we were ready to set off, and he came with us. I must say, no one, me included, dared to ask him where he had been. It is as if he has turned to stone."<br>"But…" Her voice and her thoughts failed Cassandra simultaneously. "But I…"  
>Yet her friend said nothing.<p>

Cass could only watch helplessly as Sarah got up again and went for the door. Her thoughts began to run wild in panic, and her wits were scattered like a hoard of spooked chickens. What was the meaning of this? He was alive… and yet. There was something lurking under Sarah's words. Something that frightened her. Something that did not allow her to feel the elation she felt she should have been feeling.

And then Sarah returned, and stood wordlessly aside after entering, followed by another knight in full power armor. It took Cassandra a few moments to realize that this knight was much bigger than Sarah Lyons, so large, in fact, that not only had he to bend down to fit under the frame but also strafe sideways as his armor was so broad in the shoulders he didn't fit through the door.  
>Her heart stopped and took a few seconds to start beating again. Unable to move, or say a word, she stared as the knight moved his hands up to his shoulders to remove his helmet.<p>

Stone. It was an apt description Sarah had used, all right. His face was stony, unmoving as if carved from granite. Two ugly, whitish scars ran down the right side of his face, one of them right through the eye socket that now was empty. The other eye stared down at her with an expression she could not identity and that made her afraid, as afraid of him as she never before had been.  
>She could not hold that gaze and looked away. What had she done? They should be falling into each other's arms right now, shedding tears of joy. What was happening?<p>

"Fawkes…", she began helplessly. "Fawkes, I'm sorry… I thought you were dead… I really did!" She managed to look up again, but his expression had not changed. "I'm sorry. Please, forgive me… Had I thought there'd be a chance I'd have stayed. Honestly! Please… please believe me…"  
>A deep sigh heaved his ribcage and shoulders, still it took a while before he answered, his voice devoid of any emotion. "I believe you. I can understand why you went. I do." Then he took a slow step towards the bed, and another one, so he was standing beside her. "But this… Cassandra… why do this to me?"<br>Hearing his voice again after believing him to be dead for so long a time should have filled her with joy. But looking up at him, Cass could only blink in utter confusion. "What… what are you talking about…?  
>"That!" And he pointed at the baby beside her.<br>Cass flinched at his sudden movement and hastily pressed the baby to her breast. "What…?" She swallowed, looked at the face of her son, looking crossly at her for grabbing him like this, and back at the man standing beside her. As if he needed protecting from him… or did he? She was confused, afraid, and completely at a loss as to why there was so much hostility in his voice. "What… tell me… what is wrong with you?"  
>"What is wrong with me?" His nostrils flared. "What is wrong with me?", he almost roared. "I lie for months at the threshold of death, surviving only because I kept thinking of you, then learning that you have disappeared from the face of the earth, only to learn months later that you have been found, needing help because of…" He gritted his teeth. "Because of this." He took a deep breath. "And after spending months wishing I could find you alive, I suddenly began wishing you were really dead! And you ask me what is wrong with me?"<br>He looked down at her and squarely into her face. "Tell me, Cassandra. Please tell me the truth. Is this a child of rape?"

Cassandra blinked as if he had slapped her, and suddenly, all at once, everything fell into place and she realized what the reason for his hostility and Sarah's unease was.  
>"Rape?" she swallowed, and suddenly felt cold with fury and desperation both. "You realize… I mean you know that I almost died, giving birth to him?"<br>"I do, and I know it is not his fault…" he began, but Cassandra cut him off short.  
>"Yes, you know. And you think you know it all? Did you think I just…" She shook her head and felt as if she had been kicked in the stomach. Fury and the feeling of utter betrayal and disappointment lent her a strength she had not known she possessed.<br>"You fucking, bloody idiot! Was that what you've been thinking? What you all have been thinking? That I ran away after thinking you dead I'd have nothing better to do than get into the pants of the first man I meet? Shag myself up and down the ramps of Megaton? That what you've been thinking?"  
>Tears of fury and frustration streamed down her cheeks by now, and she could do nothing but scream at him. "Asshole! And wishing me dead for it! The gall! Then why did even you come here? To insult me and drop me like a hot coal?" She wiped her hands across her face, but the tears wouldn't stop. "Preferring me to be raped, no doubt, because then it wouldn't have been my fault! Bastard! Did you think I would have gone through what I did for a child of rape?"<br>"Cass…", he began, but Cassandra was simply unable to stop.  
>"And to think I've missed you so much that death seemed the easier way out! And I only did it for you! For you! Can you count, Fawkes? Can you count?" She gulped for air, her tears still hadn't stopped, and she could not stop herself, either. "He's three months old in a week! Plus nine months pregnancy makes twelve! He was conceived a year ago, give or take a couple of weeks!" She was almost hoarse by now, and the baby, uncomfortable and afraid by her screaming, was mewling in her arms. She ignored him.<br>"And how long ago was that fight, heh? How long ago? Answer me!"

His face had turned even more stony during the last few moments, if that was even possible. And he swallowed, cleared his throat several times, and still his voice wouldn't carry, it broke into a hoarse whisper as he answered. "I…"  
>"Eight months ago." Sarah's voice was flat and cold as she answered in his stead.<br>Her energy suddenly spent, her fury vanished as suddenly as it had appeared, Cassandra sunk back into her pillows and closed her eyes. Hoarse from screaming, and utterly drained by her outbreak, she could only whisper. "But you were rather thinking I should have been raped instead of just bloody counting the months."  
>Fawkes failed to answer. As if he had turned to stone completely.<br>"He's yours. Your son." The tears flowed again, but silently this time. "For the sake of your memory did I survive giving birth to him. For that alone."

The silence in the little hut was so heavy it was tangible. No one moved, until finally Agatha took the initiative by taking the crying baby out of Cassandra's unresisting arms. Fawkes made a step up to her and Agatha stopped, letting him take a long look at the child, standing as silent and stone-faced as a statue. She didn't hold out the boy to him, nor did he reach for him, and with a nod to Sarah, she then left, and the paladin followed her outside, silently closing the door behind her.

Fawkes mutely returned to her bed, and Cass turned her head to look at him. She felt a gulf between them as deep and as broad as heaven and earth together, and wondered if they would ever be able to reconcile. Then his empty stare focused and found her face, but before she could say anything, he slowly blinked, and a single tear trickled down his left cheek.


	4. Chapter 4

Cassandra watched the tear silently, not knowing what to do or to say. How many things would she have liked to tell him, words of comfort, endearments, promises of her love and loyalty, but she was as tongue-tied as if she had been gagged. None of these things seemed appropriate any more, and she felt tears of regret burn in her eyes when she remembered as how there had been a time when words simply hadn't been necessary. Now, they were impossible.  
>They had never spoken about love. Never used the word.<br>Never had she told him she loved him, as there never had been a need to.  
>But now, when there was more need for words than ever, none would come. She couldn't even say his name. Couldn't move a finger. She just lay in her bed, propped up by pillows, and stared at him as he slowly sank down to his knees.<p>

And she still could only watch in despair as he, the strongest man she had ever known, buried his face in the mattress beside her and swallowed a heavy sob. She watched with tears streaming down her face as he clutched her blanket in his fists, unable to stop himself despite the shame he must feel, his shoulders trembling under the strain.  
>She knew she should not let him cry like that, that she should say something, do something to make him stop, to comfort him, but she was still petrified, partly from the shock at finding out so suddenly that he was alive and partly because of what had just happened minutes ago. She didn't watch him cry out of a feeling of him having deserved it. She watched because she was completely helpless at that moment and had no idea what to say to him.<p>

But then he lifted his head and looked up to face her. Cassandra swallowed hard, thinking that a man like him should be impossible to be pushed so far beyond his limits of what he could bear. But it was her doing, she realized. It was her doing, it was him loving her that made him so vulnerable in that part of his soul. And with her loving him, it would have been her duty to keep that part safe from pain and harm. But she still felt the abyss between them that their double betrayal had created, and had no idea how she would ever be able to bridge it, get across to him again.

"Forgive me", he finally rasped. "Forgive me." He dropped his head into his hands and violently wiped them across his face a few times, then looked up at her again. "Cassandra… please forgive me. Believe me, I do not wish for you to have been raped. Never. Please, believe me." He swallowed hard. "I just… I just could not have imagined… not on my life I would have…" He shook his head heavily. "It did not occur to me the child… could be mine… simply because it… it is impossible. Or so I thought. Everyone thought that. No one had thought about counting. I know that does not absolve me, but I… I could not think… I simply could not think of it." He fell silent and shook his head again. "No…" he went on after a moment of hesitation. "No, never should I have thought you capable of just leaving me behind and move on to the next man just like that. But that was why I was hanging on to the thought it had to be rape, simply because I could not imagine there was any other way." He looked at Cass again, jaws clenched tight in agony. "Cassy, what can I do? What can I do to make you forgive me?"

The use of her nickname, that simple, single, little reminder of the easy intimacy they once had shared, made Cassandra want to cry again, but it also enabled her to reach out for the hand he had extended across the abyss to her. She took it, and for a moment they both balanced precariously at the edge.  
>Swallowing heavily and with a deep breath to steady herself, Cass lifted her left hand and reached for his face. He closed his eye with a shudder as she cautiously, and with trembling fingers, touched the scars on his face and traced the lines from eyebrow to chin.<p>

Then she jumped.

"I already have", she whispered, and realized at that moment that she had spoken nothing but the truth. She wanted nothing more than to put all this behind her and be in his arms again.

He caught her, and she landed safely.

"Thank you", he whispered and took her hand. Then he moved forward, and she sat up a little, and they leaned cautiously towards each other until their foreheads touched. Both of them had their eyes closed now.  
>They remained like that for a while, hands entwined and foreheads touching, until Cassandra couldn't stand it any longer. "Hold me", she whispered.<br>"I will", he replied in a low voice. "Give me a moment." Then he got up, and she watched as he slowly reached over his shoulders to activate the pressure pads clasping his armor shut. It was no ordinary armor, of course, it must have been custom made specifically for him to fit. Fawkes shrugged the armor off his shoulders, and she could see more white scars on his right arm and the right side of his chest, where they vanished under the tank top he was wearing.  
>As he sat down on the bed beside her, she traced the scars on his arm with her fingers and shuddered. "How?" she looked up at him and he met her eyes. "How did you survive that?"<br>"Almost not at all", he replied, looking away. "The ground was uneven. By sheer chance, I was pressed into a little hollow and not crushed. But there was a lot of shattered ferroconcrete all over the place, and in that little hollow, too. I was literally impaled by the armoring. I couldn't move, almost couldn't breathe, and had to spend two days trapped under the carcass until the Brotherhood found me, covered in blood and gore, my wounds gone septic. I was in fever for weeks." He paused, and Cassandra shyly took his hand. He squeezed it and went on, still not looking at her. "The medics in the Brotherhood did what they could for me, but could not restore my eye. Then Lyons offered me a place in their ranks, and how could I have refused? They made me an honored member, and after all that time alone, I am a part of something bigger again. No longer a despised outcast on both sides. No longer a monster." He cast his eyes at the door. "I owe them my life, and they gave me a place in their ranks. But now… I don't know how I shall divide my loyalty between…" He paused, and finally looked at her again.  
>Cass tilted her head. "Between them and me?"<br>He nodded.

Feeling a tiny smile spread on her lips, Cass took his hand in both of hers. "Why? I am a knight, too."  
>"But you left…"<br>"Not completely true." She sighed, but did not look away. "I ran away. I never left the Brotherhood. I just ran away, because I was a coward. I didn't want to look at your body, didn't want to watch them put you in a grave. Had I only stayed, to make a proper farewell and help them bury you as I well should have, all this wouldn't have happened. I'll gladly join the ranks again, to protect the people in the Lyon's name, if they will only have me back."  
>"I think right now your duties lie elsewhere but to fight for the Lyon's Pride", he gave back slowly.<br>She lowered her eyes. "I know. But at some point…"  
>Fawkes nodded slowly. "At some point. But until then, you have to trust in us to protect you."<br>Cass looked up again. "Us?"  
>"Well, yes." He cleared his throat. "Us. The Brotherhood. And… me…"<br>"You would?" Feeling suddenly shy again, Cass avoided his eyes.  
>"Protect you? I would." His voice was a little hoarse.<br>"Keep me safe?"  
>"Yes."<br>"Forever?"  
>He frowned. "As long as I live, Cassy. If you want to have me back, after what I said and did to you."<br>"Want you back?" She leaned back and stared at him with wide eyes, but now it was his turn avoiding eye contact. "Want you back? God… Fawkes… I went through several hells of pain to survive giving birth, because the child was the only thing that was left of you; I crept back from death's door leaving a trail of blood behind, because I owed it to you to live for him, and you ask me do I want you back?" She would have liked to laugh at this, but she could only cry. "Want you back…", she said, swallowing her tears. "I've wanted nothing in my whole life more than I wanted you. Would you want me back, after I abandoned you like that?"  
>"Yes."<br>"Just like that? Yes?"  
>He nodded. "You are not the only one able to forgive, Cassy."<p>

They looked at each other again, and finally, Cassandra felt that she would shatter into a thousand pieces without him.

"Hold me", she whispered again.  
>And this time, with the armor already gone, he did so, closing his arms around her, pulling her close, holding her tight as she wept, until at least all her tears of loneliness, pain, grief and regret were spent once and for all. She calmed down, her face pressed against the skin of his shoulder.<br>At this point she remembered their very first night, and her sudden hunger for him almost overwhelmed her. She pressed her face into the grove of his neck, breathing heavily, and heard him chuckle. "Not here", he whispered. "Not now. But I have a small cell to my own down in the Citadel."  
>She smiled against his skin. "And I guess we have to wait until we get there."<br>"I would advise it."  
>"You ask a lot of me, Fawkes."<br>This time it was him who chuckled, both of them feeling the relief that the strain was ebbing off and some of the easiness of earlier times was beginning to come back. "You think this is any easier for me? I have to use all my self control not just to… devour you."  
>Cass leaned back to look at him. "You'd have to find a side dish", she said with a glint in her eye. "I'm not precisely well fed right now."<br>"No, surely not." He held her a little closer. "Just by holding you I can feel every bone in your body. We need you to get your strength back soon."  
>She didn't reply; just closed her eyes and rested her head on his shoulder. Tired, she was so tired, she needed a bit of a rest. She thought about asking him to lay her down, but, her head still on his shoulder, was already slipping away before she could open her mouth.<p>

As he sat there and held her, it took Fawkes a while to realize she had fallen asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

Pumped full of nutrients and glucose, it still took Cassandra weeks to be able to leave the sickbay again; normal food, she was told, maybe in slightly larger portions, would restore her further. And rest, of course. She had been sleeping a lot, but these last few days only at night, so she had, after finally leaving the sickbay, taken up quarters in the cell the Brotherhood had assigned to Fawkes.  
>Her body had healed well enough, but she doubted that her soul ever would. The Brotherhood medics had fought long and hard, but in the end, they had lost the fight that most likely could never have been won. She had known from the beginning that this would happen one day, but that didn't make the pain any easier to bear.<p>

As she sat down on the bed to wipe spilled milk from breasts that still tried to give nourishment although there was no one any more to take it, she realized that he was watching her intently without moving.  
>Suddenly aware that she was sitting there bare-breasted made her terrible self-conscious, but looking at him and the way he looked at her she leaned back, feeling the blood gush in her ears. The memory came back of their reunion, when all she had wanted was to have him right there, in Agatha's old and creaking bed. She closed her eyes, momentarily lost in an emotional maelstrom of loss, regret, pain, desire and lust.<br>But looking at him, she thought that life had well a little more to offer than pain and regret, hurt though as the memories might. She managed to push those aside as she watched him watching her. There was a promise of comfort in his arms. Maybe there she could forget about everything else for a while.

"Cassandra", he said as he walked up to the bed and slowly sat down beside her. "I know you might be afraid of… it happening again, but…"  
>She tilted her head to one side. "Short of us not being together any more, I don't see how we could avoid it."<br>"I have…" he took a deep breath. "I have talked with the doctors. And I have come to a decision. Believe me, if I could go back in time and undo the damage I did to you, I would. But as it is…" He avoided her eyes for a moment and looked back as he took her hand in his. "As it is, I have taken proper precautions that it will not happen again. I shall not cause you any more pain, if I can avoid it."

It took Cassandra a while before she understood the meaning of those words. And when she finally did, she felt dismayed and abashed that he would go to such lengths; take such steps to protect her soul from any more harm. And realizing this, all feelings of shyness suddenly vanished and she wanted nothing more than be close to him again, feel him and his love, despite the pain she would experience along with it. It was part of him, and part of them. And she wanted him. She wanted him badly, very suddenly.

"Fawkes", she whispered. "If I don't get you now I must die."  
>"I would not like to answer for that", he gave back in a husky voice and straightened up to rid himself of his own shirt. And after staring down at her for a few heartbeats, he let himself fall down beside her and their lips met in kiss so fierce and hungry as if they were trying to make up for the lost time all in one go.<br>With gasping breaths she raked her nails down his back as he tore the last clothes first off her and then off himself, and when he finally threw himself on top of her, she suddenly realized that she had exchanged one pain for the other. That however heavy her loss, she had gained something in return.  
>Giving birth had not scarred or damaged her, as she had feared, but had altered her physiology somehow, and she felt his surprise as much as her own at the complete absence of the pain they both so clearly remembered.<p>

Sweating, with only slowly calming heartbeats, they held onto each other tightly afterwards, filled with warm, deep satisfaction, for the moment. Both knew that their hunger had been denied for too long to be sated by this one time, but for now, this moment in time, everything was almost perfect.

_Ever felt away with me_

_Just once that all I need_

_Entwined in finding you one day_

_Ever felt away without me_

_My love, it lies so deep_

_Ever dream of me_

_Would you do it with me_

_Heal the scars and change the stars_

_Would you do it for me_

_Turn loose the heaven within_

_I'd take you away_

_Castaway on a lonely day_

_Bosom for a teary cheek_

_My song can but borrow your grace_

_Come out, come out wherever you are_

_So lost in your sea_

_Give in, give in for my touch_

_For my taste for my lust_

_Your beauty cascaded on me_

_In this white night fantasy_

_"All I ever craved were the two dreams I shared with you._

_One I now have, will the other one ever dream remain._

_For yours I truly wish to be."_


End file.
